We will say just about anything to justify our actions, or to make a situation work in our favor. Even if deep down we know that we have caused the outcome to be what it is!
We will give reasoning to why we didn’t get hired for the position we wanted more than anything by telling ourselves that the interviewers were intimidated by our abundance of knowledge and sharp communication skills.
We will give reasoning behind why someone is bitter, or why some people always appear to be happy. “Oh, he is just angry at the world because he lost his job.” or “It is easy for her to be happy, her family is wealthy.”
We take a look at all of our relationships where the other person left us due to our own poor behavior, and still manage to believe that it was all because that person couldn’t handle our strengths.
This is not to say that some of our justifications aren’t correct.
When a wound is fresh, we always want to make the situation better so that it stings a little less. In turn, our minds don’t always think rationally. We begin to take everything as a sign, we feed into the loving words that our friends tell us, and we are hypersensitive to any sort of criticism.
Again, some of our justifications may have truth to them.
After all, it is always helpful to look at any situation as a lesson rather than allow it to stir up a grudge, and bring out the ‘small me’ that lies within each of us.
‘Small me’ : that voice inside us that blames other people for our own personal inadequacies. Fueled by ego.
The best thing we can do in any circumstance, is take a step back to analyze what is happening, admit our flaws (and strengths), and learn a much needed lesson :
It is me, and that is okay. I will work on it, and improve.
We don’t want to go as far as to be tolerant of intolerance, or to beat ourselves up daily for a character flaw. No.
However, we could ask ourselves how we can do better, and look at every situation as having room for improvement.
It is freeing to admit our flaws, and in some cases, it may even help to embrace them.
By Camryn Rebekkah